How Many ‘No’s Does it Take

by Madonna on August 23, 2013

How Many No's Does it Take? How many ‘No’s’ does it take for the average human being to stop asking?  Four? Five? Less?  Well it does depend on who’s doing the asking and what they are asking for.  It is often said that really successful people are successful because of their amazing ability to withstand the rejections. The same applies to sales people and to telemarketers and to small business owners.

I used to think it was all about not taking the ‘no’s’ personally and while that is still true, there’s another component to ‘stickability’ and that is the ability not to become demoralised or discouraged or at least  to be able to drag yourself out of it quickly.

Network marketing is a classic example of this.  It has the highest failure rate of any industry in the world, around 97%. I have written many posts on this topic.  Recently, I’ve had some experience in call centres. Now, that is one tough gig. Day after day, call after call, going through the same spiel, hearing the same objections, and not making the sales. And I discovered something very interesting which I had not previously known before.

The average telemarketer does not take the rejections personally, otherwise they would not last the first day. No, what happens is this, and this is crucial information for small business owners and particularly for network marketers.  Telemarketers who are not delivering the goods, self select and exclude themselves before they are shown the door.  Now, this was a revelation to me. I assumed that if a company was prepared to carry a low producing telemarketer for a while until they improved, then they would stay.

Not true in about 80% of cases.  The average low producing sales person or telemarketer switches jobs before they need to and here is why.  And this was also surprising to me.  Contrary to popular belief, sales people and telemarketers are human.  Yes, I know it’s a stretch to think that about those ones who call at dinner time, but it’s true.

When we under-perform, we blame ourselves, we tell ourselves limiting stories, and ultimately this makes us FEEL bad. And the source of the bad feeling is the repetitive nature of asking people to consider something that they don’t want or need.  From there, it’s  a very short drop down a very slippery slope. The dreaded discouragement sets in.  Of course we don’t always recognise it.  We often believe we are maintaining a  positive attitude (and we all know how very easy it is to lie to ourselves).  But discouragement has many guises, like procrastination, negativity, time wasting, and generally less activity, which of course results in even less productivity. The more we under-perform, the worse we feel and the cycle continues.

That is why the turnover in sales positions and in telemarketing is so high.

The same happens with business owners who have to drum up business or network marketers who have to continually show their stuff. It is simply too much for the average person to maintain an enthusiastic approach.  We have all witnessed at some stage in our lives the high producers, the ones who keep on kicking goals.  Most of the time, they are no different from you and I.  Most of the time, they say and do the same things as us.  The difference is they have somehow been given the innate ability to drive the rest of us mad  with their resilience and their positive attitude in the face of seemingly unending and resounding, ‘NO’s.’

So, what’s the answer?

Well, I have discovered the answer to end discouragement in the face of negative results. I have discovered a technique that allows you to keep rolling with the punches, no matter how bad or hopeless the situation appears.

This technique is taught as part of my one on one training sessions with small business owners and network marketers.

Ask  anyone who has been to a motivational or inspirational seminar.  The results don’t last. Motivation evaporates as quickly as ice left out in the sun. My system works with the energy system with directly impacts the emotional body, which is responsible for how you FEEL, and that is why it is over 90% effective.

Want to learn more?



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prospecting anxietyThere is no doubt in my mind after working with clients on this issue for some time that prospecting anxiety like call reluctance, is a self esteem issue.  Because I work with the energy system and not the conscious mind, it usually only takes a few minutes for the real problem with prospecting to emerge.

Invariably the block to making those calls or approaching others with a business proposal stems from some type of negative judgement we have made about ourselves.

Now human beings are funny creatures. Our subconscious mind knows intuitively that if we call a prospect and he or she is not interested, that we are going to take that personally.  We are going to feel bad, like the naughty child who asked for an ice cream before dinner and was scolded for doing so.

But why do we feel bad when someone says ‘No’ to us?  Neural pathways, my friend. I know that sounds boring, but it’s important to understand so don’t switch off now. I’ll be quick.

Neural Pathways connect different parts of the brain and nervous system and are composed of bundles of neurons. They are formed in much the same way a track is formed along a dirt path.  Over time, deep  ruts are formed on the track  if traveled over frequently enough.

Once your brain makes a connection between two ideas or objects, electronic pulses are sent back and forth between corresponding neurons.  If these pulses occur regularly enough, neural pathways become stronger, similar to the ruts on the well worn track.

Once these pathways are strong, the brain tends to quickly connect the two ideas and create a faster, stronger response. And here is the connection to call reluctance or prospecting generally.

How many times were you told ‘No’ as a child ?  How many times were you told to stop being annoying or to stop bothering your father?  Or to stop asking for things?  How many times did an adult or a peer make fun of your ideas?  How many times did you get something wrong and sound either stupid or awkward?   How many times did you feel undeserving or not good enough to have  your needs met?  Are you beginning to see the  relevance to call reluctance or to asking a prospect to have a look at your proposal?

All of these experiences have the potential to damage our self esteem during childhood.  Why?  Because when these incidents occur and depending on their regularity, we unconsciously make a negative judgement about ourselves.  We decide at a deep level that perhaps we don’t deserve to ask for what we want, maybe our ideas are simply not good enough to be taken seriously, or a multitude of other misperceptions we unconsciously buy into.  And we do so because these decisions are made at an age when we don’t have access to all the information available.

Unfortunately, because these experiences are common place even in the best of childhoods, deep neural pathways trigger negative responses in us when we are faced with making a call or approaching someone with an idea. Even though in your conscious mind, you know you won’t die if you make those cold calls, the unconscious aversion to it is still so intense.

So, that’s the bad news.  The good news is that despite what you might currently feel about these activities, it is not very difficult to change those neural pathways, once you know how to access them.  They can be accessed through the energy meridian system, similar to acupuncture, but in this case, without the needles. Once the neural pathway causing the block has been identified, it is a pretty simple matter of tapping on those meridians with the fingers and the pathway that originally connected the ‘No’ from the past with the idea of phone prospecting today starts to unravel.

To put it simply, you say the problem out loud while tapping on about 5 points on your upper body and presto, you can start to make those calls or set up those meetings.  Now, what could be simpler than that.  Now, I’m not saying that is always the end of it, but what I am saying is that after about 90 minutes you feel radically different about approaching anyone, because some of the old connections will be broken. For some people that is all it takes, while others might choose to have another session with a practitioner, but the majority learn enough to continue tapping away any further reluctance to prospecting. How long it takes to completely clear those blocks  depends on the type and severity of the experiences you’ve had in the past.  But one thing is certain. This tool does have the ability to completely clear all your blocks, business or otherwise.

But there’s more good news.  This ability to tap into the energy system works on everything from anxiety, despair, fear of failure, procrastination, confidence, anger, jealousy, and whatever causes grief in human beings.  Once you know how to do this, it can change your life forever.  This is a complete self empowerment tool.

Are you ready to get over your prospecting anxiety or your call reluctance and start hooking up with people who really need what you offer?

Are you ready to start prospecting with confidence and change someone else’s life for the better?

If so, Book a session or Contact me


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If You Are in Business You Are in Sales

by Madonna on May 28, 2013

SalesA good friend of mine (let’s call her Sally) has a home based business in essential oils.  She regularly hosts parties in her home.  To prepare for these, she cleans and spruces up the house, bakes for hours and uses her own products (which do not come cheap) to demonstrate.  She freely shares the knowledge she spent a decade learning.  And for all this she charges nothing. She hopes that her prospects will see the amazing benefits of essential oils and either sign up as distributors or at least purchase copious quantities of her precious oils.

The truth is this rarely happens.  The guests have a wonderful time, enjoy the homemade cakes and freshly brewed coffee, learn a great deal about the powers of essential oils and leave, having purchased a bottle of lavender oil at wholesale price.

Sally is left stunned, every time.  What has gone wrong here? Not one of the prospects realised her vision of a home based business and the sales didn’t amount to anything.

Why didn’t they get it?

They didn’t get it because there was nothing to get.

Sally doesn’t know how to sell.  She really needs some sales training.  But her upline told her that she didn’t have to sell. “All you have to do is to show these wonderful oils and they sell themselves.”

Yeah right.

Sally hates selling.  She is afraid to come across like a pushy salesperson.  It’s interesting that most people only see the two extremes when it comes to selling.  You’re either pushy, which turns most people off or passive like Sally,  where you show the product and hope for the best.

But there is a middle position. You do not have to pushy to sell, but there are some vital aspects of sales techniques that you need to learn.  The reason for that is buyer resistance.  Buyer resistance is the reluctance and hesitation to purchase.  Most of us hate to make mistakes and this is especially true when it comes to sales.  Buyer resistance is even stronger for goods and services that the customer needs rather than wants.

Most of us have little buyer resistance to that stunning pair of shoes, but a great deal to having our carpets cleaned or engaging a business coach.  Why?  Because what we need is rarely as exciting as what we want. That’s a simple fact of life.  And that’s why Sally needs some sales techniques like asking the right questions to flush out objections, uncover needs and priorities, and to qualify prospects.  If Sally doesn’t soon learn some sales strategies, the home based business she loves will stall and go into freefall.

Remember, if you are in business, you are in sales.  If you are a solopreneur then straight sales training might not be for you.  Soloprenurs often have reluctance around selling because they have many preconceived notions that limit their ability to sell themselves, their goods or their services.

If you are making the same mistakes as Sally, then it might be time to rethink your current strategy or lack of it.  If you want to improve your sales technique and make more money, then it’s time to adopt a more productive approach.  Contact me to find out more about Sales Coaching for Solopreneurs.  You owe it to those who actually need and are looking for what you have to offer.

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Do You Have Approach Anxiety in Business?

by Madonna on March 17, 2013

Approach anxiety cripples small business performance

Approach anxiety cripples small business performance

When I started my first and my second business I was plagued with approach anxiety, not a very empowering place from which to launch a small business.  But the market was very different then and I was able to survive and indeed thrive.  Today’s marketplace dictates a very different business methodology.  Today we are required to employ relationship developing strategies in order to build a business.   It is no wonder then, that approach anxiety has become  a very common issue for solopreneurs and particularly for the female variety.

The term approach anxiety generally applies to men feeling  anxiety and reluctance to ask a woman out on a date, because they think they might face the dreaded  rejection, but the term now applies equally to small business owners.  As more and more people become business owners without a storefront, and have very small marketing budgets, they are forced to become more proactive at self promotion and marketing.

Some business owners do manage to bypass the need for one on one business approaches by blogging, tweeting  and using other forms of social media to their advantage.  This works for many solopreneurs but it depends on the nature of the business.  Unfortunately, there are many industries in which this approach has severe limitations and real live human beings must be approached and engaged with personally.

Approach anxiety in business can take many forms.  You can tell if you have it if you are not making those follow up calls, you would rather chew off your right arm than make a cold call, you don’t  ask for the sale, you fail to mention your product or service when an opportunity is presented,  or you hold back from asking for a meeting or a presentation.  You have approach anxiety in business when you constantly give in to that nagging, critical voice which makes you hesitate and leads to holding back when you could have stepped up.

So, what is the real reason for approach anxiety in business?  The most common response is fear of rejection, but that’s not it.  That’s’ surface stuff.  Some inexperienced solopreneurs claim  that they feel like a fraud, while others report that their programs are not ready yet, their website needs work or worse still, that the other person would not need or want their product or service.  Mindreading, I call that. It’s extremely common. All of that is also surface stuff because it still comes back to fear of rejection, doesn’t it?

Or does it? Fear of rejection is not the reason we are reluctant to put ourselves on the line and take the risk, even though it is commonly thought to be the case and I’ll tell you why.  As human beings, we project all of our thoughts and our beliefs onto others.  Fear of rejection from others  is no more than our own limiting self judgement projected outwards.

Ever wondered why some people do not fear rejection at all? It’s simple. They are in complete alignment with their ability to successfully come up with the goods.  You see, the degree to which we fear rejection is the same as the degree to which we judge ourselves as being limited in some area.  So, the best way to overcome approach anxiety in business is to build your self esteem, improve your self image and stop telling yourself negative and limiting stories which hinder your performance and keep you fearful of approaching the very people who need your product or service.

Easier said than done?  Not sure where to start?

If you’ve realised  that you do have approach anxiety in your business and you’d like the fast track approach, let me show you how you could be 90 minutes away from looking forward to approaching prospects instead of being fearful of them.  Would that make a difference to your business?


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It’s Not All Smoke and Mirrors

March 6, 2013

I help people shifts the blocks and barriers in their lives that hinder performance. Whether it is with call reluctance, procrastination or even their self esteem, the end result is the same, a more developed sense of self, a greater freedom to be who they are and more success in their lives. But when I […]

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Taking the Fear out of Selling

March 1, 2013

In the last couple of decades selling has gotten a really bad rap. Perhaps we could blame the used car sales mentality, the hard sell we have been exposed to from the budding Amway executive or the dinner time assault we are subjected to from Indian call centres. It could have something do with sheer […]

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Emotions Sell. Do Yours?

February 8, 2013

We buy the sizzle, not the sausage. That’s right.  We all do. But how can you sell the sizzle if your sales mojo is in a tailspin?  How can you sell the sizzle if you aren’t excited about selling every single day?  You need to be excited to sell, excited about your product or service, […]

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Why Aren’t You Prospecting Every Day?

January 25, 2013

If you are not prospecting every day, then perhaps you don’t need any more business or any more money. Marketing 101 tells us that new businesses should spend about 80% of their time on marketing the business.  How much time are you spending? Prospecting is a great marketing tool. Prospecting is a great marketing tool […]

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Are You Suffering from Sales Shame?

January 16, 2013

Sales shame is that uncomfortable feeling that sometimes arises when you are engaging in the sales process.  It often occurs during the closing stage just before you are about to ask for the sale.  That feeling of shame starts to rise, your energy drops and you pull back. What causes that feeling?  For some reason, […]

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The Money is in the Follow Up

January 4, 2013

I know you’ve heard it before but do you do it? Jean is a massage therapist who went to a network meeting the other night where she collected a few business cards. She had a few interesting conversations and decided that Harry, the IT guy and Susan, the network marketer were definitely prospects. She knows […]

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